I’m alone at home. Finally getting a little peace and quiet. In 10 minutes though, I will have to put on some “nice” (not a beach dress) clothes and go get the kids at school.

But, being home alone gets me thinking a lot about the future. About our future as a family. I look in the mirror and see my gray hairs popping up way more frequently than I remember. I can’t pluck them like some other lucky people since I have such thin, fine hair that every one counts, even if they are gray. I see the wrinkles around my eyes and realize that I am going to be 40 in only a few more months. I can’t believe it. I took a silly quiz online a while ago asking your “emotional age”, turns out my emotional age is 23. That is how you feel on the inside, but the outside says something way different.

The kids are getting older and wiser and more “bicker-y”. Some days we all wake up, gather around the kitchen island for breakfast and the first thing the kids say to each other are verbal pokes, which leads to verbal whining and verbal tattle-taleing. I’m hoping this is just a phase. I know it is, I keep telling myself. I just keep plowing through the morning chores saying to myself that they will be separated in school within another 2 hours.

The boys are getting into “boy” things this year. Brannan has been upset that he isn’t very good at football (soccer) and he gets teased at school about it. I told Byron and said that he really needed to spend some time with him doing that sort of boy stuff, and lo and behold, after one Saturday morning, Brannan came home from school yesterday and said he almost scored a goal at school. It gave him just enough confidence to keep it up and not feel bad about being teased. Every day we come home and I play the new Taylor Swift song “Shake It Off” for him and tell him to just think of that song when people tease him about not being able to make a goal.

Brannan got a new guitar for his birthday. Byron wants to take lessons with him.  Kinnerly just started a dance class at school. She looks super cute in her little ballet shoes and her little leotard spinning around on the wood floor. I really want to take a transcendental meditation course, but will have to wait until we are back in the states for that. Not sure that is a popular thing here in France, plus I wouldn’t want to spend the money on something like that and not understand it.

I’m getting geared up to download our pictures from our summer. Just haven’t had the push to do it. There are a few good ones I think but I don’t know why I am scared of taking them out of my camera. It’s like I don’t want to release the summer yet. Close the page on that time just yet. I know it was our last summer here. It was very very busy, had a few good times in there, but I really am going to be sad to leave France. Although there are some days when I drive around longing for the clean, neat streets of America. Without graffiti and trash and potholes and sheer cliffs without guardrails. Like today, in fact. Maybe I’m just thinking of our October holiday too much. Thinking of what I want to get done while we are there, of all the travel, of stressing out flying with the kids by myself. But then shifting to fun things like seeing my family and having the kids experience a “real” Halloween. They don’t even know what Halloween is really. It is sort of celebrated here, people dress up at school but there is no trick-or-treating. I think they will have a blast doing that.

Now I must go put on some “nicer” clothes, some makeup and go get the kids…

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