That person…

So, to escape the heat last week, I took the kids to the local mall – also known as Cap 3000.

It was really hot and I was kindof bored of swimming every day and it was waaaay too hot to go to the beach, so I figured we could wander around and have a little lunch somewhere in the mall.

Everything started out great – we spent a while in one of the stores, it had a little kid toy section that sells thing like bug catchers and nature-y themed things. Then we kept on moving down the line. There is a really nice grocery store attached to the mall that has a really nice deli-type area that has themed refrigerated cases. There is a Greek section, an Italian section, a French terrine section and a cheese section of course. They serve sit-down lunches in the middle of all of the deli cases, which is pretty nice. I love the falafels that the Greek section has and have treated myself a couple of times when I am sans children.

Anyway, Brannan wanted a salami sandwich, Kinnerly wanted a croque-monsieur (well, she didn’t have much choice in the matter) and I wanted some sushi. Luckily we can get all of those things in the grocery store and sit down to eat it too. We ate lunch – had to leave our table and walk halfway across the mall in the middle of lunch so Brannan could go to the bathroom of course – but, all in all it was nice. I got a little salad with my sushi and it came with some dressing on the side and I was too full to eat it so I chucked it in my bag and we were on our way again to visit some more stores.

Now, this isn’t a very “modern” mall, but it certainly has improved since I first saw it a year ago – they just opened a STARBUCKS! I couldn’t believe it! And soon to come is a frozen yogurt shop – I am so unbelievable excited about the frozen yogurt shop – I miss my MoJo in Tempe something fierce. I would take the kids at least once a week for froyo in AZ. But! Soon! It is only a half hour (one direction) and a 3euro toll away from me! Sweet!

Anyway, I decided to get a Starbucks Frappuccino on the way out – something icy and chocolatey and the kids wouldn’t drink it all because it has coffee in it – and we waited in the very long line. The kids were wandering around, but within earshot. Kinnerly decided she wanted to carry the bag with some groceries and my Asian salad in it. She was swinging it around and I thought to myself – I just know she is going to swing that bag around and bust open that little plastic container of soy dressing and it is going to spill all over my reusable grocery bag. So, I decided to pull out the dressing and let her swing everything else around. I ordered, paid, and tried to balance a box that had a slice of raspberry white chocolate cheesecake, my phone and the little container of salad dressing all while the kids are underfoot doing who knows what but twisting circles around me.

All of a sudden, my phone and the dressing start to slide off the box.

I panic, not wanting to break my phone as my iPad is already broken, overcorrect myself and the dressing goes flying to the ground.

And, of course, there are two women standing next to me.

One is in a skin tight – head to toe – cream colored outfit.

CREAM colored!

The dressing hits the floor, the top flies off and soy dressing splashes all OVER the back of this woman’s cream skin-tight pants.

It looked like someone played a terrible joke on her and splashed in a mud puddle and aimed directly at her legs.

I wanted to crawl into the trash bin.

She turned around, ever so slowly, whipped her long caramel colored hair around, kicked up her heel, looked down at her calf, looked at me, nay, GLARED at me and said “please tell me that is coffee” (in ENGLISH!).

I said, “uh, no, I am so sorry, it is an Asian salad dressing”.

Everyone in the restaurant was looking at me.

Brannan said “uh oh Mom”.

Kinnerly kept swinging her bag.

They called my name to pick up my frappuccino – “Cate? CATE!!?”

“Uh yeah, c’est moi. I’m the dumbass here wiping up salad dressing off the back of this woman and your floor.”

I apologized profusely, offered to buy her a coffee, offered to give her money for dry cleaning, but she and her girlfriend brushed me off. The one not wearing a skin tight outfit told me to give her my phone number in case it didn’t come out in the wash. I obliged, happily.

I was so embarrassed I wrote down my number and dragged the kids out of there. I could feel everyone watching me.

To top it all off, on the way home, I got pulled over! Not for any reason really, here in France the Gendarmaries often set up road blocks to check and see if you have current drivers licenses and insurance, and that was just what happened. Luckily I didn’t get a ticket.

That would’ve been the whipped cream on the frappuccino of my day.


4 thoughts on “That person…

  1. I just read this and it made me laugh…because that TOTALLY would have been me. This should be a lesson for everyone never to wear skin-tight cream colored anything…

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