Everything around here requires a good deal of planning because it takes quite a while to get everywhere. Not because we live in the “country” as the townies like to say about us, but it is the roundabouts and the tiny roads that really make things take a little longer.

But today – we were taking the AUTOROUTE! We were going to Ikea! Hooray! Not that we needed anything, but I figured driving an hour and 10 minutes to a big box store so we could get out of the house would be an exciting adventure. Whee.

Not so much.

Well, it started out just fine – I was listening to my iPhone while the kids listened to the nursery rhyme CD that my brain sometimes decides to recite at exactly 3AM to keep me awake, and we got there, no problem, no screaming children, no big deal.

I drop Brannan off at the children’s area and Kinnerly and I start out on our quick whirl around the store. I pick up some candles here, a dish drainer there and some baskets and pillowcases and proceed to the checkout. I know I am running late and the people at the children’s drop off area already were making fun of me for being English even though I didn’t even speak a single word of English to them! They just knew! Maybe it was my AZ driver’s license that gave it away, or my terrible accent, but, hey, I got through the whole transaction without saying “pardon, parlez-vous Anglais?”

Anyway, I was only a few minutes late after trying to figure out how to get a stupid rewards card so my beach towels were only 7,99 Euro instead of 17,99 Euro – got yelled at at the entrance for going in with a stroller full of Ikea crap, fetched the boy and headed to the cafeteria for a terrible lunch. Ick. I don’t even know why I eat there anymore, it is so bad. Next time I am just going to get the tiny carafe of wine and let the kids eat those nasty meatballs.

We headed to the car, pried our Ferrari out of the parking lot when I realized I forgot to get my toll from the Autoroute reimbursed. Ikea realizes that people from all over will drive to purchase their do-it-yourself furniture and will reimburse your toll if you present your receipt. I figured, heck, that was 11,00 Euro, I damn well better go get it reimbursed. I go to one counter and they tell me to go to another counter, I leave the kids in the car because I don’t want to drag them in and the second counter says I have to present the receipt BEFORE I pay for everything.

Sha, of course!

That’s not the worst of it.

I get home, look at my receipt, realize that I had been charged an extra 13 Euro for something I didn’t even buy and Brannan tells me he left his favorite stuffed camel at the children’s area.

Ugh, what a day.

Tomorrow will be better. Have a BBQ planned.


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